Hello guyss .
"Savi is Vidyut's girlfriend." One of my classmates told me this yesterday . I was shocked when i heard this . And on top of that , I got to know this from some other person . Am I not her friend ? Why?
And why am I even complaining? She never promised me her truths. Her life is hers, and I was foolish enough to think I deserved a corner in it.
But everyone know that Ayansh admired her a lot and even more than that . Then what happened suddenly?
But it's alright . She doesn't owe me anything.
If he got to know that she is someone else's now . How much hurt would he feel ? Even I got through that pain and it wounds you.
Tomorrow I would talk to Kiyansh and tell him about this . I don't think many people know this. And if i told Advik he won't be able to do anything as he sucks in expressions.
Maybe I should tell Kiyansh . I do not want anyone to go through the same pain .
Afterwards , Savi told me everything at night. I just want she is not coerced into this .
The farewell surprisingly went peaceful. Now I think I should tell him everything .
Where is he now ?
Ah there he is . With Advik .
"Kiyansh ?"
Why the fuck I am feeling nervous . It is not like I am proposing him something . He already likes someone else .
"Yeah , tell me. Do you need anything ?"
"Umm . Do you .... I mean I wanted to ask something ?"
"Does Ayansh likes Savi ? I mean in that sense .
"Honestly speaking , even I don't know that . We never spoke about it. But maybe he does .Why are you asking this ? "
"Vidut is Savi's boyfriend. I don't think you are aware of this . Right?" He looked very much surprised with this piece of information .
"No . I am not .When the hell did that even happen?"
Why the fuck he asked that question like it personally offended him ? He would have asked politely.
Oh shitt . Why the fuck I raised my tone and at this girl . She would kill me .
" That's none of your business. And I just wanted to tell you beforehand as by your reaction I assume that even Ayansh know nothing about this and I would have asked Advik but he is a pain in ass . So I request you to take care of Ayansh . He already looks like someone who is carrying a lot and this would add to him . And Advik is already short tempered . So I think you understood what I wanted to tell you ."
This much care of Ayansh. Is there something I am not aware about ?
"Okay . I will . And thankyou for telling me this. Now I understood why you were this much nervous . You can take anyone's help Anvika. Why this much ego ? And does taking anyone's help destroy your ego? That's why you were nervous now asking for help ?" I told her . It is not like that i am saying that she likes Ayansh . But she should take it normally .
She smiled faintly at my words . Like she has stopped expecting from people. But did I say something wrong ? It was for her good right ? Then why the hell it felt like I did something which can not be undone .
It stung . Everytime someone say something like this it hurts a lot . I feel strange pain in my chest . I did not expect this from him . Why the fuck I even expected something? These humans have always disappointed me . I don't understand that why people poke nose in someone else's life . Who even said to give him suggestion? And about that word . What was that ?
E.G.O.
If I would have been egoistic I wouldn't have talked to savi ?
If I would have been egoistic I wouldn't have talked to him after knowing that he liked someone else ?
If I would have been egoistic then I would have not requested care for someone whom I barely know ?
I realised very lately but Dii used to say right that people are always like this .
The more you love, the more you hurt.
The more you care, the more you drown.
The more you feel, the more you shatter.
But it is alright . I do not want anyone to know that I care this much deeply . Because when people perceive you rude or heartless its easy to live like that . But when you start being good to everyone it costs you a lot .
The only thing Anvika craved badly in life was that someone's understanding . People always judged her by looks.
After sometime Anvika comes to her room and there were the only people who made her felt seen even for a moment and that was more than enough for Anvika . She never craved someone's love because she had already understood the struggles and battles of life. She had three roommates other than her .
They were discussing something like anecdote .
"Not again . They always end up discussing about not so innocent topics ." She thought ." These people start with discussing topics and end up with bitching about some people."
"Hey Anvika, com here . Do you know what happened today ? You won't believe me . Today our seniors were passing by your classroom and saw two of your classmates making out . They were even saying that they did not realize somebody else's presence . Only we are not doing these . Sometimes it feels so boring having no toxic people in life to cry on . " She whined dramatically.
"Only you can say that Senior . Otherwise we all know whose life is boring here ." Anvika remarked sarcastically. Her senior's boyfriend cheated on her . He was always a cheater but we all know women in love are dumbest species you can ever found.
"How can she even laugh at something like this . How much it would have hurted seeing him with someone else ? Even I would have to face something similar someday." Anvika thought .
"We should not go personal Anvika. You wounded my heart . Oh god ." Her senior said . Next they shifted to Michele Morrone and then suddenly her another came up with a coconut .
"Hey all of you . Can you break this coconut . It's so much like our political science mam . A tough nut to crack ."
"Yeah give me ." Anvika then used a hammer and then striked it on and then coconut split into two triplets at once .
"Woahhh . Anvika you can found a job at a temple for a coconut cracker . How fabulous it would . Everyone would come to you for that . And this work even suits you. Or you can take it as a part time. And you can even meet your boyfriend there with the cause of your work at the temple . " Her senior remarked .
"Enough . Such a futile idea . Oh god . How much you people care about me. But I don't need your care . " Anvika said making faces like imagining herself at a temple and idea of breaking coconut disparaged her .
She knew that those people were just saying it in a funny way . But Anvika being Anvika has to come up with her mood swings .
Breaking coconuts at a temple?
As a part-time job?
Me?
Are they even serious?
I mean, I might have considered it… if the job came with the view of a priest who looked like Kiyansh Chaudhary.
Maybe then I would have even thought about doing full time . How much happy it would have made me. But then reality sucks . I might not even see him after high school . How am I going to survive then ?
But for the first time since those incidents, the thought of being swallowed by a crowd didn’t scare me much.
Maybe it’s because even the idea of him is enough to silence every storm inside me… and that’s the kind of comfort that terrifies me the most.
I would keep myself away from him. How much of a fool I was even to think about others ? If only I would have not been that much kind . But I know very well I am not kind it was just a way to make people show that I am not selfish . But only if I would have been .
How many more times will I put on this facade… or has the pretending already become my reality?
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